Monkeys Run the Show
by LesDeuxAmies
Summary: well... umm.. just read it... but don't expect much :) do you want us to continue? input would be appreciated!! just remember... sleep deprivation + sugar = scary stories! :)


Hey! This is our first fic. it's late, we're bored, you get the idea. Anyhow, on with the story! It's SUPPOSED TO BE STUPID! DEAL!  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own any of trademarked things, movies, objects, oompas etc, etc. mentioned here, got it? Good. However. Shumachs is our own invention.. mwhahaha  
  
  
  
It was the day after Halloween and Jack had the worst hang over. All he wanted to do was sleep, but soon he would have to get ready for work. Jack just happened to be a midnight bouncer at Shumachs. It was a tiring job, but he had bills to pay just like every other Joe Blow. He downed the bottle of aspirin on the table next to his bed. As he crunched on the pills, Jack pondered what the club would be like tonight. He hoped it wasn't busy, but those goblins liked their girls. Oh well, he sighed. Damn! Out of aspirin again. well I chewed about 18 of them just now. Jack thought. Off to the store to get some more for later.  
  
When Jack got to the local Piggly Wiggly, he opted for the chewable since he'd probably be chomping on them all night long. He made his way towards the medicine and saw Mister Oogie Boogie in the "family planning" aisle. He was loading up his basket with the usual contraceptives. Jack sighed. This WAS going to be a long night. Oogie turned his ugly potato sack face towards Jack and winked. Jack grimaced. Jack grabbed some aspirin and then headed towards the liquor. Jack Daniel was going to be his best friend tonight.  
  
Jack walked in the door was greeted by Zero and a smell of perfume that could only mean that his dearest was home, Sally. Hey Baby! Give me some of that pumpkin pie! Jack called up the stairs. Sally came waltzing down wearing a new gown. Really Jack, you need to lighten up on the booze, gazing at his grocery bag full of it and of course some medicine. She then changed the subject to her new job. I can't believe I'm starting tonight! She smiled that doll face smile. Jack asked her what exactly she was doing. She racked her brain for a decent answer, a waitress! She kissed him, grabbed her coat and left quickly.  
  
Sally's journey to Shumachs was quickly interrupted when a gang of purse- snatching, fish-stealing monkeys threw her into a big black Cadillac and drove off. Sally screamed but the monkeys pointed to a tied up Oompa Loompa and screeched at her. Sally was scared. The Oompa had come from Christmas Town. he was impersonating an elf and had failed miserably. The monkeys drove into the fountain in the middle of Halloween Town. The swamp thing monster was hit and killed. The black car was smoking and most of the monkeys were either dead or unconscious. The citizens were outraged and stormed the car. Jack drunkenly waltzed up the door. He had an almost empty bottle in one hand. What in thee 'ell is thattt thingie? Jack spat out while pointing at a poo covered Sally, slowly emerging from the crashed vehicle. They flung their poo at me before we crashed, she sobbed. Jack said loudly, Yoou smeell funky little dolly. Groooss! Then he started to laugh his Pumpkin King laugh.. hee hee hee hee. Then he passed out at Sally's feet.  
  
Later the same night, all the monkeys that had survived the accident were making a guest appearance at Shumachs. They were a hit! They were the best dancers that Halloween Town had ever seen. Since monkeys don't wear clothes they didn't have to strip. However one had on a red lacy teddy that was driving all the guys wild. But everyone, even Oogie Boogie, thought they were cute and wanted to have a tug on their ears. And as soon as they had come, they were gone, even the black caddy.  
  
Jack awoke on his bed with another throbbing headache. Monkeys! Oh how could I forget that? He turned to say good morning to Sally and there was an Oompa Loompa in his bed. Hey you skeleton. mwha! And with that, the big green hair, orange skinned Oompa kissed Jack. Sally!! He screamed. Get off me you. you thing! Jack ran outside. without clothes, his bony butt showing for all to see. He was last seen running into Valentine Town with his arms full of various booze.  
  
THE END 


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